What is true about health is also true about productivity: an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Decisions are hard and I wanted to make sure I was saying yes or no for all the right reasons. Manage your time. Lyrics to 'Hello Goodbye' by The Beatles: You say yes, I say no You say stop and I say go go go, oh no You say goodbye and I say hello Hello hello I don't know why you say goodbye, I say hello “While my heart wants to say yes, the reality of my time makes this a no.” I’ve learned the best “no” answers are graciously honest.” ― Lysa TerKeurst, The Best Yes: Making Wise Decisions in the Midst of Endless Demands This is not to say you should never attend another meeting, but the truth is that we say yes to many things we don't actually want to do. Yes. 35 Black and Indigenous Owned Companies to Shop from this Holiday Read More. Writer(s): Robert John Arthur Halford, Glenn Raymond Tipton, Kenneth Downing . Don’t apologize and give all sorts of reasons. Without you, I would be nothing.” ― T.J. Klune tags: everything, love, yes. You still need to say no to distractions, but you also need to learn to say no to opportunities that were previously good uses of time, so you can make space for great uses of time. I told her that I had completely forgotten that it was my dad’s birthday that Saturday and that we had a family get-together (which was certainly not the case). So, I say it's a yes?" Derek Sivers, No “yes.” Either “HELL YEAH!” or “no.”, Mike Dariano, Start with “no” for a better “yes”. I have been waiting for this.” ― Jeanette LeBlanc ... To have hope. Say'sches Theorem {n}econ.hist. If you know you 100 percent need to say no, you need to do it as soon as possible, says Glantz. Whether you want to lose weight, gain weight or stay the same, say ‘yes’ to loving your body and commit to giving it the best you can, because you deserve it. It's ours. I don’t feel trapped, resentful, or guilty anymore. You are showing that you respect yourself--and that is how you … He already kissed another girl… just a week after breaking up with me. I’m almost certain that you’re in a great place in your life. I have been a big brother fro most of my life, and it's the best thing I could ever be. Don’t lie. In an ideal world, we want to say yes to everyone, sure. Let me check my schedule first. Say no to unnecessary commitments, and you have the time you need to recover and rejuvenate. But at some point, you realize that you can’t say yes to everyone else. Well, if you’re gonna come off as a grumpy jerk, you might as well have some fun with it. No is a decision. There is no worry. Every now and then, let go of the kind of work you don’t want to be spending your time on by saying no. I still feel bad that I lied. Yes, you. Saysches Theorem {n} [alt]econ.hist. Shonda Rhimes, the titan behind Grey's Anatomy, Scandal and How to Get Away With Murder, is responsible for some 70 hours of television per season, and she loves to work. No is a decision. Remember that it is better to say no now than be resentful later. How I Went From the Pain of People-Pleasing to the Freedom of Being Me, The Power of Saying No (Even to People You Love), How I Learned to Like and Trust Myself When It Was Hard, self-improvement and how to live a fulfilling and happy life. I will go there with you. You have to pick carefully.” 6. You have to pay back your commitment at some point. In order to be respectful, take a moment to think about your answer--even if you already know what it is going to be. Don’t say “I’ll think about it” if you don’t want to do it. The best is yet to be and it begins from the moment you say yes!" And they will say yes. Don’t let the fear of being judged, rejected or disliked stop you from being yourself” ~Sonya Parker, Sometimes I even find myself thinking “no, no, no, no” and then I blurt out “yes.”. “I've come to feel downright uneasy with people who can't say no. And if that is the case, elimination is a more useful skill than optimization. #TheBestYes While you might not be ready to dedicate an entire year to saying yes or to adopting a new nickname, saying yes is one of the best decisions you can make for your career. Whether they say what they think of me, out loud or not, does not matter to me. Plus, you can say this when you are shocked and you have nothing to … Chantalle Gerber is a writer and co-founder of Want2discover. — James Clear (@JamesClear) January 24, 2018. You say yes, I say no My blood's on fire I grit my teeth You're nothin' but a teaser Gimme some relief I'm lookin' at the bottle Sinkin' to the floor I gotta white knuckles Can't take it anymore You say yes, I say no What do you treat me so What I do, I do for you Submit Corrections. Upgrading your no doesn't mean you'll never say yes. We become frustrated by our obligations even though we were the ones who said yes to them in the first place. There is no doubt. While you might not be ready to dedicate an entire year to saying yes or to adopting a new nickname, saying yes is one of the best decisions you can … But sadly, we hold onto our childhood beliefs and we continue to associate no with being dislikeable, bad mannered, unkind, or selfish. — John C. Maxwell In an effort to please people and avoid confrontation, Yes People say "yes." Over 1,000,000 people subscribe. For senior managers and executives, being able to effectively manage your resources and say no when necessary is a crucial skill. Not only has it challenged me to overcome my fear of rejection, it has helped me to feel in control. Say yes to life! Today we’re going to look at some of the most common alternatives that you can use to express yourself more clearly, and liven up your English language conversations. I realize this is not just a challenge that I face, but one that many people go through every day. Instead, I feel empowered and free. 2020 Holiday Gift Guide for Kids to Teens Read More. Because I’m here! My boss called me one day and was asked if I could work the following Saturday. I make mistakes, I'm out of control, and at times hard to handle. And if you’re not saying no to most things, lemme tell ya: you… Best Friends Only Say YES to Each Other for a DAY! If they never say no, how can you trust their yes? I was torn and wanted to do it all or say no to it all. But it is also true that saying no is not merely a privilege reserved for the successful among us. People will respect you. Often, you have to consider saying no to someone you will interact with again in the future—your co-worker, your spouse, your family and friends. When you say yes, you are saying no to every other option. How often do people ask you to do something and you just reply, “Sure thing.” Three days later, you're overwhelmed by how much is on your to-do list. When you say yes to something that doesn’t align with your goals or interests, you are saying that someone else’s goals are more important than your own. It’s fine now. There is no doubt. What are you up to this weekend? “Live your life for you not for anyone else. Share . Featured Posts . It is the thought that they look down on me. ), BPD again, ruined a relationship, what should I do learn from this, Childhood (non-explicit) Trauma and Forgiving Myself for a Mistake, How to Safely Enjoy the Pandemic Holidays, Hate Your Life? Thanks for reading. The words “yes” and “no” get used in comparison to each other so often that it feels like they carry equal weight in conversation. Saying no is sometimes seen as a luxury that only those in power can afford. If it doesn't excite you, then say no. Dreading the idea of having to work that day, I called my boss back with the best excuse I could think of. I donate 5 percent of profits to causes that improve the health of children, pregnant mothers, and families in low income communities. Remember that your self-worth does not depend on how much you do for other people. It’s just a word, right? As writer Mike Dariano has pointed out, “It’s easier to avoid commitments than get out of commitments. If you turn down that responsibility, you may think you’re holding out for a better set of responsibilities. I hope we can live into the words of Rilke: "The point of marriage is not to create a quick commonality by tearing down all boundaries; on the contrary, a good marriage is one in which each partner appoints the other to be the guardian of his solitude, and thus they show each other the greatest possible trust. It's easy to fall into the trap of saying NO to a reasonable request if someone has made too many unreasonable ones in the past. Enter your email now and join us. I have learned that if you live your life depending on other people’s approval, you will never feel free and truly happy. The second step to learning to say no is realizing that you are valuable and choosing your own opinion about yourself over others. Don't worry what they say Just bring you're love away 'Cause your friends can't do What I can for you I don't wanna hear you say. Hat tip to Kevlin Henney. Trying to say yes to everything is likely to leave you trapped with no time or energy for yourself — and unable to give your best to any of your commitments. – When you say yes to someone you don’t like, you say no to a fulfilling relationship. Do we need an internal meeting to discuss? Recently, at the recommendation of my friend, Mary DeMuth , I started reading The Power of a Positive No: How to Say No and Still Get to Yes by Harvard professor William Ury. Please seek professional care if you believe you may have a condition. More effort is wasted doing things that don't matter than is wasted doing things inefficiently. Lyrics to 'Say Yes' by Michelle Williams: Wait a minute, bring it back Wait a minute, bring it back Wait a minute, bring it back Wait a minute, bring it back Wait a minute, bring it back Thanks for reading. You could say, “Let me check my calendar. Your Best Yes is about learning to say yes to those things that are truly meant to be our assignment. Lysa is amazing. When you say yes, you are saying no to every other option. 1. I would love to smile for the rest of my life too. Say no more! I have good news for you. It would take a whole army to keep me from saying yes. "Learn to say ‘no’ to the good so you can say ‘yes’ to the best." - YouTube A mediator can say no for you, explaining that while you really want to say yes, right now there is just no way you can make it work. This will just prolong the situation and make you feel even more stressed. Marilyn Monroe Think about the anguish, stress, and resentment that saying yes has caused you. If you have also decided that it’s worth it to you, and want to learn to say no, try … Other times, we say yes simply because saying no feels bad. The general trend seems to be something like this: If you can learn to say no to bad distractions, then eventually you'll earn the right to say no to good opportunities. "I love the feeling and the butterflies I get when I see you smiling. Stop that. If you said no to your mom, dad, teacher, uncle, grandparents, and so on, you were most certainly considered to be being rude, and you would have probably been told off for it. Even if you didn’t fully get the person to say yes, you should attempt to end your meeting or conversation proactively, with a look to the future. If you want that same feeling of freedom and empowerment, then take control, challenge yourself, and learn to say no. Not doing something will always be faster than doing it. Once you have knocked out the distractions, it can make sense to say yes to any opportunity that could potentially move you in the right direction. Later, I found myself feeling absolutely terrible about having said yes and I wished that I had just had the guts to say no from the beginning. Lying will most likely lead to guilt—and remember, this is what you are trying to avoid feeling. So here are six steps to help you say ‘no’ (in a firm-but-nice manner) when an employee tries to take advantage of you. They say “yes” without thinking things through. It just means you default to saying no and only say yes when it really makes sense. There is no worry. I’m here to the rescue! It’s easy. This episode helps explain the roots of people-pleasing behaviors and how you can say no more often. But learning to say no can earn you respect from yourself as well those around you. And you’ll likely feel resentful and angry with them… even though you could have just said no. What if they yes you to death and then secretly hate you for it? Read More. Fear of failure is the real cause of our analysis paralysis. Saying no to your superiors at work can be particularly difficult. The thought of straining the relationship outweighs the commitment of our time and energy. If you said no to your mom, dad, teacher, uncle, grandparents, and so on, you were most certainly considered to be being rude, and you would have probably been told off for it. If you know you 100 percent need to say no, you need to do it as soon as possible, says Glantz. Saying no keeps you toward the easier end of this spectrum.” 10. In the situation illustrated below, the body wants to say both yes and no, but the positive feelings of saying no outweigh the sensations of saying yes, so the best answer would be no. Even if I hate you, I would say yes to this one. Constantly saying yes to everything and everyone drains us of time and energy. Did you ever wonder why it was so easy to say no when you were a little kid and why it has become so difficult now? You say, yes. “Why can't you just come to the meeting? Posted at 11:51h in 10k Work, Blog by Khe Hy. 8. You retain the ability to spend your future time however you want. Here’s a great tip: Stop saying yes when you want to say no. And it is wonderful to throw open your arms and say YES. It's about us. Be sure to download a copy of her Free Ebook: 15 Simple Steps Towards Happiness and Success. It's worth asking if things are necessary. Lysa is amazing. This book helped me tremendously. We have it every week.” Just because it is scheduled weekly doesn't mean it is necessary weekly. Take Yes is a responsibility. When you say no to someone you are letting them know that you have boundaries. Looking back, I realize that it really isn’t worth it to say yes when you don’t want to. Have you ever said yes to something, but immediately wished you could take it back? Say “Yes” instead of saying “No”. Do you groan inwardly because you’d been looking forward to finally relaxing this weekend, but then suppress it and paste a smile on your face and say yes? This book helped me tremendously. In an ideal world where we have unlimited time, we could easily say yes to everything. Plain and simple. 29 Feb. How to stop saying yes when you want to say no. Learn the useful list of creative ways to say YES in English. So why do we continue to say yes? Most of us are probably too quick to say yes and too slow to say no. When you say yes, you are saying no to every other option. This will get you feeling a lot more comfortable with saying no. The ultimate productivity hack is saying no. I like how the economist Tim Harford put it, “Every time we say yes to a request, we are also saying no to anything else we might accomplish with the time.”4 Once you have committed to something, you have already decided how that future block of time will be spent. This is similar to Shane Parrish's rule of thumb for meetings: “If you wouldn’t do it right now, say no.” A similar philosophy could be extended to many areas of life. You are unique, valuable, and important. And research shows this not only creates a cycle of awful feelings, it actually does real damage to your relationships.
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